A Sermon

Christianity is an offense.

If it were not, a ‘proper’ Sermon (on the Mount) would read (in part) as follows:

Blessed are the affluent in spirit who live in steadfast piety, for their copious banking account shall reflect their religious devotion to God.

Blessed are those who never need mourn, for their comfort is their eternal assurance.

Blessed are the apologists,
 for they will subdue the earth’s heretics with irrefutable truth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for moral supremacy among the herd,
 for they will be filled with holy indignation toward the other.

Blessed are those seeking divine mercy,
 for they will demand what they will not give.

Blessed are the pure in the eyes of the other, for the other will verily see their purity.

Blessed are the aggressive defenders of God, for they will be called ‘Christians’.

Blessed are those who lovingly hate the [sin of the] other because of [what is considered] righteousness, for theirs is the exceptionally high seat of authority from which they will judge all mankind.

Blessed are you [Christians] when all people embrace you, extol you, and correctly say all kinds of praise and flattery about you because of your pious fidelity to the Christian religion. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in this life, and the next, for in the very same manner Christ of Nazareth aggressively defeated his many enemies, so you must also go out into battle ye mighty warriors, to crush the obscene enemy of God.

(And more…)

You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment’. But I tell you that anyone who is angry with an other who lives outside the parameters of Christianity, threatening it thus, must publicly abrade this other for such gross immorality.

You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for an eye, and tooth for a tooth’. But I tell you, do everything within your God-given power to resist an evil person, and s/he will flee from you, as God will deliver the victory into your hands.

If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, do not tolerate such a thing.

And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, demand your proper rights in civil court.

If anyone forces you to go one mile, let them know the judgment of almighty God will verily be upon them.

Give only to those who have proven themselves worthy of your gift, and turn away every last one who wants to borrow from you without repayment.

You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy’. But I tell you, love your enemies per hating their humanity, and pray for yourself that you might escape all persecution, that you may then fully join the triumphant, religious celebration of your Father’s epic victory over evil—for He causes his sun to rise only on the Good, and sends rain on all the unrighteous to alert them as to their reprehensible unrighteousness.

Every head bowed; every eye closed…